In today's world, “Victorian” refers (by most accounts) to a certain highly ornate style of architecture, furnishings, and fashion. To some extent, this is also the lovely style with which many emo and gothic kids associate with romance and a series of degenerative lifestyle choices. But the one element of Victorian art and style that continues to fascinate us is the mourning fashions of the day.
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Mourning clothes were a family's outward display of their inner feelings. The rules for who wore what and for how long were complicated, and were outlined in popular journals or household manuals which were very popular among Victorian housewives. They gave an abundant amount of instructions about appropriate mourning etiquette. If your second cousin's cousin twice removed on your father's dad's side died and you wanted to know what sort of mourning clothes you should wear and for how long, you consulted The Queen or other manuals.
Here are a few strictly followed rules that one must adhere to in the 19th Century when you need to find something to wear out after the loss of a loved one.
Widows were expected to wear special clothes to indicate that they were in mourning for up to four years after the death, although a widow could choose to wear such attire for the rest of her life.
Wearing a widow cap with a veil covering your face was thought to be proper etiquette. It is rude to the dead to show your grief.
It was considered bad luck to keep mourning clothes – particularly crape – in the house after mourning ended. This meant that crepe warehouses were a boom!
There were certain stages of mourning that alleviated the depression of some of the strict morbid clothing. the “full mourning” stage saw nothing but black, where “half mourning” saw shades of gray and lavender.
And by the by, it was considered the height of rudeness to enter back into society within the first two years of mourning, so although it really matters what you wear…no one really notices it!
Another way to remember and honor the dead was by wearing a bit of hair from your loved one in a lovely cameo or other kind of jewelry. The type of mourning was simply labeled as “hair art” and was wildly popular! Note that hair art was also used to remember a loved one period…not just a deceased loved one. Locks of a persons hair, or even several people's hair, were taken a fashioned into ornate and unique mementos for a grieving family. To be even more ridiculously morbid, some hair jewelry was even made to be worn against the skin!