Arthur Miller, Marilyn Monroe’s second husband, skipped her funeral in August 1962, even though their rocky relationship contained an emotional bond. His absence has many causes, a combination of personal, emotional and logistical elements that went into his decision.
Miller and Monroe’s marriage, which lasted from 1956 through 1961, was a troubled affair marked by Monroe’s mental health issues, Miller’s dedication to his craft and, ultimately, their conflicting personalities. Monroe’s significant insecurities and dependence on her lovers complicated their relationship, as did Miller’s own career priorities. But they also shared a love of ideas, and their emotional connection was real. Their divorce in 1961 followed years of strain, not least because of Monroe’s growing reliance on prescription drugs, her breakdowns, and Miller’s failure to handle her mental illness.
Following their divorce, Monroe struggled with depression and loneliness, and her final years were marked by a decline in her health. Although Miller had distanced himself from Monroe in the years leading up to her death, it is reported that he still cared for her deeply. However, Miller's absence from her funeral can be understood through several perspectives.
First, Miller had remarried by the time of Monroe’s death, to photographer Inge Morath. His new family life may have created a physical and emotional distance from his past relationship with Monroe. Additionally, Miller was reportedly grappling with his own emotional turmoil following Monroe's tragic passing. Their marriage had been fraught with tension, and while Miller had left her years earlier, the weight of her death may have been too much for him to handle publicly. He later expressed in interviews that he had never fully recovered from the emotional scars left by their marriage and Monroe’s death.
Moreover, the atmosphere surrounding Monroe’s death was highly charged. Monroe died from an overdose, which led to widespread speculation about the nature of her death, including theories of foul play or the involvement of powerful figures. These theories may have made it difficult for Miller to reconcile with his past involvement with Monroe, especially given the public scrutiny that followed her death. Some sources also suggest that Miller was simply too devastated by her passing to attend, as he reportedly found the event too painful to confront.
Miller’s decision to not attend the funeral also came in the context of his ongoing attempts to maintain privacy and avoid media spectacle. The funeral itself was a highly publicized affair, attended by a variety of people from Hollywood and Monroe’s circle. Given his personal distaste for the spotlight, it’s possible that Miller simply chose to mourn privately, away from the prying eyes of the media and public.
While Miller did not attend Monroe's funeral, he did later reflect on her life and death with a sense of sorrow and regret. He expressed his continued affection for her in his writings and acknowledged the personal struggles that contributed to their divorce. Monroe's passing left a lasting impact on Miller, but his absence from her funeral remains a symbol of the complex, often painful nature of their relationship